March 14, 2014…I don’t even know where to begin describing this day, or I guess I should say my feelings about this day. This is the day 12 months ago, that the little red car belonging to the CPS caseworker Megan, pulled into our drive way to pick up Kaiti…for the last time.
I had not been to sleep the night before at all, crying, praying, dreading, watching the minute hand tick by on the clock as our time with her quickly slipped away…but mostly, just watching my baby Kaiti sleep. Rubbing her hair, and asking God why? Several times I became so overcome with emotion I had to step outside for fear of waking her. Begging, pleading with God for understanding, for answers. At one point asking him to take my life but to please not put her in the impending situation we all new was bad (granted, at this time, we had no idea just how bad it was going to get for our sweet girl). I came to the decision our morning would be happy, we would not cry, we would relish in every last second…
The morning didn’t go as planned, all of the children were everything but happy. They argued over who was going to sit by her or hold her, she was fussy (I’m sure because of the gloom in the air.) And the crying, I didn’t have the heart to tell them they “couldn’t hurt” right now.
Megan arrived as I was still trying to get Kaiti dressed, she was refusing. She always did this when told it was time to go to Crystal’s. Again, I should point out, she started refusing to get dressed when her overnight transition visits started in February.
I carried her to the little red car and whispered in her ear “I love you more, I love you most, I love you more than all of the stars in the sky and the moon and the sun.” She giggled and raced to try and say it faster than me. (Oh how I miss that game!) She noticed the couple of tears that had softly trickled down my cheeks and wiped them away with her little hand. Kaiti then said “I’ll see you tomorrow mommy! I love you!” and grabbed my face for one of her heart felt kisses. The caseworker began to cry very hard and stepped to the rear of the car and asked if I could please strap Kaitlin in for her because this was just “too hard for her right now”.
Twelve months ago today, I watch our sweet Baby Kaiti go down our driveway in the backseat of that little red car…being taken to the home she would be physically abused, emotionally abused, mentally abused, neglected, medically neglected, and attempted to be completely torn away from our family repeatedly.
Seven days after moving in with Crystal, Kaitlin made her first outcry of physical abuse and CPS saw serious medical neglect and Crystal blatantly lied to the caseworker about Kaitlin’s health condition. When Kaiti left my home she was staph and abscess free, 7 days in the home of Crystal she had more than 24 staph related abscess’ documented by a physician that Crystal lied about… CPS did nothing about Kaiti’s outcries or medical neglect and they have continued to do nothing to protect her for the past 12 months…