A Comment From A Foster Care Provider Who Tries to Justify Her Postition


A few days ago I received this comment from a foster care provider. She was indignant because of one of the blogs which I posted. I read this comment several times and each time I came up with the same conclusion. She wanted her fifteen minutes of fame.
She even added a post script in another comment because she couldn’t get all of her ranting taken care of in one comment. She spits and sputters “Really.. How about the homes that fight the system because of the abused kids they take care of. they advocate for them. they ensure they get medical and the mental care they need. They fight for the children 24 hours a day. Then some moron comes along as say’s they are mis treating the child/ children because they don’t know the whole story. What foster parents actually go through. We are scrutinized visited weekly and Lord help us if we actually give a crap. Then we could have 6 therapist a casa 2 case workers a parent aide a transporter coming in every week not including Doctors appointments court hearings and extra curricular activities for the child/children. Sleepless nights horrific things seen and heard about. Then to be kicked in the tail with some bogus claim that we are doing our job.”
When I read that long winded paragraph I almost fell out of my chair laughing. She is complaining about the same behavior that parents go through when they lose their children through no fault of their own. She assumes that because a parent loses a child that they are indeed an abusive parent. I really loved her comment ,” Then to be kicked in the tail with some bogus claim that we are doing our job.” Most of the parents who have lost their children to the claws of DFCS were doing their job too.

He solution is“ advocate for better parents more resources better background checks more case workers. Less furl o days. More money in the budget for our Children not less. The case workers over look stuff cause they can only work 32 hours a week well that is paid. They are actually working 60+.” What she neglected to state was that caseworkers earn bonuses for snatching children being overworked has nothing to do with anything. Most of them never ever check on a child once it is snatched. They move on to other children and more money. I also love the comment “they over look stuff…” no they overlook nothing, the opposite is true, they make up most of it. They lie, and falsify records to justify their actions. They do not innocently overlook anything. They know exactly what they are doing. They are trained to do it that way. Believe me I have the manuals.
She also states that “we” should stop treating them ie the foster parents like criminals. They are the ones who earn tax free money for the children they take in at the hands of the state. They are the ones who turn the children against their parents because they – the foster parent doesn’t know the whole story. All they know is what they are told by the caseworker who does lie.
The tone of this comment is one of righteous indignation – apparently she was busted for her “abuse” of a foster child and now wants to justify her actions.

I especially liked this statement “Also you use the word trapped in the foster system. I have saved them from being trapped in a home. HOW DARE YOU” My comment is how dare she, what will she do when her gravy train turns eighteen years old? The money stops who will she look after then? The child will no longer be an asset they will be a liability. I guarantee she will turn that child out and yes that child will be caught in the foster care system. She says that she is “A Proud Foster Parent, While “You” get your crap together”. Apparently she believes everything she is told by the caseworker.
So Kimberly, my advise to you is this, before you make comments about which you know nothing you should do your homework. You are not there when a child cries because it is ripped from its mother’s arms and thrown into a car with strangers who drive away with that child looking out the window at its mother wondering what it has done so wrong. You are not there when a child cries and begs to go home with its mother. You are not there when that mother is told she cannot tell her child that she loves it at visitation. You are not there when that mother is abused – lied to and manipulated by the system so they can keep that child and earn money off its back. But you are there to collect money off that child every month – you say you take that child to the doctor, dentist, etc, well you are paid to do that. You get gas money and expense money to do that. But yet that mother may not have the ability to do that for her child.
Instead of hiring more caseworkers they need to work with the parents give them the money that they give you so they can keep their children. I don’t know what state you live in – but I do know that in Ga. a foster care provider made enough money last year to build a brand new house even though her husband’s income was less than 50,000.00. I also know that she is a stay at home mom however, her income is listed at $150,000.00- $174,000.00 she has six foster kids. So you tell me.

The Comment in its entirety:
“Really.. How about the homes that fight the system because of the abused kids they take care of. they advocate for them. they ensure they get medical and the mental care they need. They fight for the children 24 hours a day. Then some moron comes along as say’s they are mis treating the child/ children because they don’t know the whole story. What foster parents actually go through. We are scrutinized visited weekly and Lord help us if we actually give a crap. Then we could have 6 therapist a casa 2 case workers a parent aide a transporter coming in every week not including Doctors appointments court hearings and extra curricular activities for the child/children. Sleepless nights horrific things seen and heard about. Then to be kicked in the tail with some bogus claim that we are doing our job. How dare you are anyone! Shame on you.. You think you can do the job. DO IT!!! The right way.. You will still have allegations made on you. Your community will shun you! They don’t want to know! You will be judged just going to the super market. Judged if you hug them a little to long. Judged if you have certain rules in place for their safety your families and other children. Eventually True Foster parents that want to make a difference will be driven into their homes by a society that doesn’t want to believe it exists. You wonder why there are not better foster homes? Cause of fear of moronic comments like this. The solution advocate for better parents more resources better background checks more case workers. Less furl o days. More money in the budget for our Children not less. The case workers over look stuff cause they can only work 32 hours a week well that is paid. They are actually working 60+. Why because no one else will. They are simply over loaded. Do something productive. Get 10 foster parents signed up. Sign people up to watch foster parent foster kids so they can have a little break. There is no break. NONE! We are also over loaded with Children whom have had the most horrific things done to them. Please I beg of you.. Help us!! Keep us!! Stop talking about us like we are the criminals.
Kimberly
A Proud Foster Mother!
A safe place for your children while you get your crap together!
Also you use the word trapped in the foster system. I have saved them from being trapped in a home. HOW DARE YOU!!”

About yvonnemason

Background:  The eldest of five children, Yvonne was born May 17, 1951 in Atlanta, Georgia. Raised in East Point, Georgia, she moved to Jackson County, Ga. until 2006 then moved to Port St. Lucie, Florida where she currently makes her home.  Licensed bounty hunter for the state of Georgia. Education:  After a 34 year absence, returned to college in 2004. Graduated with honors in Criminal Justice with an Associate’s degree from Lanier Technical College in 2006. Awards:  Nominated for the prestigious GOAL award in 2005 which encompasses all of the technical colleges. This award is based not only on excellence in academics but also leadership, positive attitude and the willingness to excel in one’s major. Affiliations:  Beta Sigma Phi Sorority  Member of The Florida Writer’s Association – Group Leader for St Lucie County The Dream:  Since learning to write at the age of five, Yvonne has wanted to be an author. She wrote her first novel Stan’s Story beginning in 1974 and completed it in 2006. Publication seemed impossible as rejections grew to 10 years. Determined, she continued adding to the story until her dream came true in 2006. The Inspiration:  Yvonne’s brother Stan has been her inspiration and hero in every facet of her life. He was stricken with Encephalitis at the tender age of nine months. He has defied every roadblock placed in his way and has been the driving force in every one of her accomplishments. He is the one who taught her never to give up The Author: Yvonne is currently the author of several novels, including:  Stan’s Story- the true story of her brother’s accomplishments, it has been compared to the style of Capote, and is currently being rewritten with new information for re-release.  Tangled Minds - a riveting story about a young girl’s bad decision and how it taints everyone’s life around her yet still manages to show that hope is always possible. This novel has been compared to the writing of Steinbeck and is currently being written as a screenplay. This novel will be re-released by Kerlak Publishing in 2009  Brilliant Insanity – released by Kerlak Publishing October 2008  Silent Scream – Released by Lulu.com October 2008- Slated to be made into a movie Yvonne’s Philosophy in Life - “Pay it Forward”: “In this life we all have been helped by others to attain our dreams and goals. We cannot pay it back but what we can do is ‘pay it forward’. It is a simple
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8 Responses to A Comment From A Foster Care Provider Who Tries to Justify Her Postition

  1. Yes I was angry when I wrote this. One is disabled and one is mentally messed up from the EXPLICIT sexual abuse that the MOTHER AND FATHER AND THE OTHER WOMAN AND WIFE did AND ADMITTED TO DOING to her.

    I quit a 100,000+ job to get a check of $453.16 a month a piece.TO PROVIDE THE FULL TIME CARE THEY NEED They have medicaid I however have struggled and got the one with physical disability into the Shrinners program so her extras are taken care of FOR THE REST OF HER LITTLE LIFE. The money I get for the girls EVERY PENNY OF IT HAS WENT INTO THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS. I CAN BACK THAT UP WITH BANK RECORDS. I/ WE DID NOT GO INTO THIS FOR THE MONEY WE ACTUALLY WANTED TO HELP. ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT DFCS PAYS FOR EVERYTHING IS JUST MISLEAD. NOW 1 PERSON IS IN PRISON AND 3 MORE ON CHARGES OF THE MOST GRUESOME THINGS YOU COULD IMAGINE. THE ONE WITH MENTAL ISSUES WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN SHE WILL ALWAYS HAVE A VOICE NEVER WILL SHE BE LOST IN THE SYSTEM.

    I AM SURE THERE ARE PARENTS AND FOSTER PARENTS WHOM DON’T DESERVE TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THEIR HOME OR TEN MILES AROUND THEM I AM NOT ONE. EVEN KNOWING ALL THE COMPLEX ISSUES WITH THIS CASE I FELT IT IMPORTANT FOR THE CHILDREN TO KNOW THEIR MOTHER.. FUNNY THING THOUGH THEY DID NOT WANT TO GO FOR THEIR VISITS. I SOON FOUND OUT WHY.

    LAUGH, LAUGH IT UP! HIDE AND THINK ALL PARENTS ARE GOOD AND NO 2 OR 3 YEAR GETS RAPED OVER AND OVER BY MULTIPLE PEOPLE. LIVE IN YOU BUBBLE. FUNNY ISN’T IT! YOU SAY 5 MINUTES OF FAME. LADY I HAVE BEEN LIVING TO HELP THESE KIDS FOR 20 MONTHS AND WILL NEVER GIVE UP UNTIL THEY ARE SAFE. THE SYSTEM SAVED THESE 3 GIRLS. FUNNY! I HOPE YOU ARE FALLING OUT OF YOUR CHAIR! I HOPE YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY. WANNA FOLLOW THE CASE?? IF YOU CAN STOMACH IT I WILL TELL YOU WHEN IT STARTS..

    A FOSTER MOM AND A HOME THAT IS SAFE FOR YOUR CHILD WHILE YOU GET YOUR CRAP TOGETHER!

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    • Rachelle A. Hayes Sparks says:

      Kimberly, I agree with you there are parents like the ones you describe whom should NEVER be allowed to be around a child. However, the are foster parents who should be the same way. I now in my state their have been numerous cases in which foster parents have either abused or killed their foster children. Please, DO NOT misunderstand me there are also good foster parents. You speak of the stigma surrounding the foster child and the foster parents. We as parents also have a stigma. Because of so many STUPID parents who do abuse their children it is almost a crime to have your children removed. I can see it from both sides as a foster child and a parent. See because I was a foster child and had a horrible childhood (please whatever you do DO NOT feel sorry for me it made me who I am) I can not be a good parent according to the state. Because I don’t care who you are if you mess with my boys or I precieve that you are going to hurt them in anyway I will attack, not physically, but I will verbally attack you. I was never charged with any crime and will never be because I would rather kill myself than hurt a child. We all need to come together and change these laws, more loving caring and concerned parents are losing their children than people who truely deserve not to have children and I have witnessed it myself. That’s the problem, the ones that would kill someone for their children are losing them. My 3rd son has Autism, do you want to know something CPS blamed me for it. Please, keep fighting for those babies but also understand that CPS is not perfect. Look up the laws comserning taking a child in your state you might be surprised to find out why CPS can take a child. Do some research, learn everything you can.

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  2. Kelley Sue says:

    I think maybe Ms. Kimberly needs to be on the other side of the proverbial stick so to speak. Let her go through what us parents are going through. Some of us have done NOTHING wrong other than piss off the wrong person. Then we end up with a corrupt judge that tromps all over my ADA rights and attacks me verbally for having my assistance dog in the courtroom.
    But I guess think this is FAIR Kimberly? Do you think it is fair that I have to drive 80+ miles back and forth to court because this corrupt judge refuses to release the case??? Do you think it is fair I do not bring my seizure alert dog with me for fear of the judges retribution when even 5 yrs later she tells me that all she remembers of me is that I was stupid enough to bring a dog in her courtroom in the first place. When I don’t bring him with me I do not know when I will have a seizure. Mine are worse when I am stressed or tired. She stresses me out. I cannot drive myself due to me knowing I WILL have seizures. I can only pray that I do not have one in the courtroom.
    All of this happened because my ex husband’s parents did not want the world to know that their one and only son was a cross dressing bi sexual slimeball. YEAH real fair to me. They only went after one of my children… my younger one. Not my 12 yr old that lived in the same house. Was that fair Kimberly??
    My son thank God did not go into foster care but it was just as bad that I did send him to his bio grandfather as he ended up keeping him from me. I am still fighting after his death. Maybe you should study ALL the facts Kimberly not just live in the dark feeding on the BS that CPS feeds you. Maybe you should try to find out the whole story…..

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    • I AM SORRY THAT HAPPENED TO YOU. AS I SAID IT GOES BOTH WAYS. MY 2 YEAR OLD HAS STROKES. NO ONE PERSON SHOULD HAVE TO BE JUDGED ESPECIALLY FOR THAT. I HONESTLY DO LOOK AT IT FIRST AND BEFORE I ASK THE QUESTIONS I DO ALREADY HAVE THE ANSWERS I KNOW WHEN THEY LIE AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO CALL THEM OUT ON IT. I DO EVERY TIME IT HAPPENS. I TOO HAVE THE BOOKS. HAD TOO NEEDED TO KNOW THE TRUTH. HAVE ATTORNEYS AND ADVOCATES TO TURN TOO. I HOPE YOU WIN YOUR FIGHT. IF THAT WAS THE REASON. I WILL HELP. DO WHATEVER I CAN JUST BE FAIR. I KNOW YOU ARE MAD WITH CAUSE BUT NOT ALL STORIES ARE LIKE YOURS AS UNFAIR AS YOURS WAS TO YOU THERE ARE SOME LIKE MINE. I GET JUST AS MAD. THERE IS SO MUCH I CAN’T DO. I OR WE ARE SHUT INS WHEN WE DO GO OUT IT IS NOT IN MY TOWN WHICH I LIVED FOR 13 YEARS. I ONLY BELIEVE WHAT I SEE.

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  3. YES I HAVE TO SAY ONE MORE THING. I AM NOT TRYING TO RELIEVE ANY GUILT I AM FEELING FROM ABUSING ONE OF MY FOSTER KIDS. THE BOGUS CLAIM CAME FROM A SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER AFTER I REQUESTED NO CANDY AT SUNDAY SCHOOL. I PROVIDED A HEALTHY MORNING SNACK WITH A HEALTHY JUICE OPTION AFTER ORAL SURGERY FOR THE 3 YEAR OLD. 6 LEVEL 2 FILLINGS. 1 ROOT CANAL AND ONE CAP. SHE SAID I WAS SINGLING HER OUT FROM THE OTHER KIDS. IN MY OPINION NO WORSE THAN A BIRTH MOTHER SAYING MY CHILD IS ALLERGIC TO NUTS. THE CLAIM. WE HAD A MEETING I HAD A NOTE FROM THE SURGEON STATING NO CANDY LIMIT SUGAR INTAKE TO 2X WEEKLY. EVERYONE MUST ADHERE. CASE CLOSED! STILL I FELT BAD FOR THE WAY THE COMMUNITY LOOKED AT FOSTER KIDS AND FOSTER PARENTS. I DON’T GET GAS REIMBURSEMENT OR MILEAGE. I AM TOLD THERE IS NO MONEY FOR BALLET- T-BALL- SOCCER-GIRL SCOUTS OR EXTRA THERAPY.WE HAVE BEEN VERY CREATIVE IN FINDING THE EXTRA MONEY. WE GLADLY PAY FOR THE EXTRAS CAUSE AS LONG AS THEY ARE HERE IN OUR HOME THEY WILL BE TREATED LIKE CHILDREN AND RESPECTED. I HELPED THE BIRTH MOM FIND A HOME MOVE FURNITURE IN IT SHOWED UP FOR EVERY CASE PLAN EVERY COURT HEARING. WE DROVE BY THE GIRLS NEW HOUSE ON THE WAY OUT TO EAT. IT WAS RAINING ALL THE FURNITURE WAS OUTSIDE. SHE HAD NEVER PAID RENT. IN ADDITION MY HOME IS PAID FOR. I WONT BE BUILDING A NEW ONE WELL NOT ANYTIME SOON. I LOVE MY HOME AND THE KIDS I HAVE IN IT. I AM BLESSED TO OWN MY OWN BUSINESSES AND TO HAVE QUALIFIED PEOPLE RUNNING THEM FOR ME. I COULD NOT HAVE TAKEN ON THE TASK OF RAISING PLEASE UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE RAISING THE KIDS IF I DID NOT. I DO ALL OF IT. GLADLY. IF THEY WENT HOME TOMORROW I WOULD BE HAPPY UNFORTUNATELY IN THIS CASE I JUST DON’T THINK THEY CAN. THERE IS GOOD AND BAD IN EVERY SITUATION. JUST BE FAIR IN WHAT YOU WRITE. NOT ONE SIDED. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE. THINGS REALLY DO HAPPEN TO OUR CHILDREN. 3 MILES FROM YOUR HOME.BE FAIR NO LAUGHING MATTER.

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  5. ewolcott3 says:

    Oh My! I can just imagine how overwhelmed the children must be having to see all these therapists, case workers, CASA, parent aid and transporter. I could go into a story that would make this womans head ignite but I wont. See my children were seized the best of 20+ foster parents used to get into drunken brawls. They even packed up and moved taking my kids and leaving no forwarding address with the department. They had told me so when the department called asking if I knew where my kids were I just hung up on the guy. Another call came in asking if I knew where my kids were this time about 8 months later. Again I hung up on the worker and then tried to get the courts permission to find them. Denied! So I went and found them anyway. They had been sleeping in alleys holding signs asking for money. The homeless drug addicts that looked out for them did not let them be beaten or stabbed like they were in the foster homes they ran from. They were 11 and 12 years old at that time. So tell me how many good foster homes are there really? 1 out of 20+ were decent and those were the drunks. And we are talking only 2 of the kids in care that experienced this horror.

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  6. Dear Ms. Kimberly,
    Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time there were 4 little boys ages 6,5,3 and 2. At a visit the 6 year old says “Mommy, Jodel throws toys at us”. Mommy goes to the case worker and say “You better find out what’s going on, case worker comes back and says “she was not throwing toys at them but at the toy box” Okay, I as a parent can understand that. It is now 3 months later, 2 year old still in diapers. Mommy changes baby’s diaper, she finds bruises on him from his scotum to his anus. Mommy asks 6 year old, who has NEVER lied to her before, is anybody hurting you? no is anyone hurting baby? no. Mommy waits till visit is over, goes to her attorney which tells her to go to CPS. Now when it comes to mommy’s children she is VERY protective, which is one of the reasons CPS gave for taking them. Mommy goes to CPS, mad as fire, walks in and says I want caseworker NOW. Caseworker comes running. Mommy tells caseworker “you have exactly 10 seconds to tell me why baby has bruises there cause you and I both know how that happens” Caseworker tells mommy go outside and smoke I will be there in a minute. Caseworker comes out says they are calling the sheriff to check on boys. Sheriff shows up, with another county’s caseworker and checks boys. BOYS ARE COVERED IN BRUISES FROM WHERE THEY WERE BEAT BY FOSTER PARENTS. 6 yr old looks at sheriff and says please dont tell my mommy, officer says why will she be mad at you? he states no, she’ll kill them. Mommy doesnt hurt us and wont allow anyone else to. Boys were removed, foster parents had another child of their own which they got to keep, charges filed of using corrprul punishment on a foster child, no jail, no nothing, Protection Order issued against MOMMY to not come within 500 feet of foster parents. Mommy taken to court for permanent custody hearing, could NOT bring up that boys were not abused in her home but abused in foster care, and lost her boys. Now is that fair?

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